8 Pounds And Counting

Every time I speak to my mother-in-law the first question after she asks me how I am is “so, how much weight did you gain so far?” This isn’t your typical catty-woman question. That’s not why she is asking it. She is Ukranian, and Ukranian women are supposed to have a little bit of meat. They’re not crazy like us Americans. A little bit of meat means your healthy. Plus, if you think about it, a country where you had to stand on line for rationed toilet paper means that you most likely didn’t let a lot of things, especially food, go to waste.

So, on Friday, I was happy to report to her that I have gained a total of 8lb. so far. She was happy and I was happy, because I know I’m supposed to be gaining weight, but I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that my former devil-Dani self wasn’t nagging at me in the back of my head a little bit. That little putrid voice that tells me, however irrationally, that I can’t gain an ounce of weight ever. Even if there’s a baby inside of me. It’s just not allowed. It’s not according to the “rules”. The rules I so strictly lived my life by for so many years. And then the fear sets in…

I have to remind myself that these arbitrary rules I once put into place are no more real than an imaginary friend. I’m growing a baby – of course I need to gain weight. Of course it’s ok. Of course it’s healthy and expected. Nevertheless though, I still get that twinge of fear – what if I end up gaining way more than is healthy. What if I get out of control and start bingeing again? What if I can’t lose it after this little girl is born?

And then, that’s exactly what snaps me back to reality – those three amazing words… “this little girl”. Actually, it’s not just a little girl, it’s my little girl, and I would never want her to have this kind of voice in her head. I didn’t work so hard to overcome my eating and body image issues so that she could see me loathing myself because being pregnant with her made me gain weight. I never want her to model me constantly looking in the mirror to see where the fat settled, feeling depressed when I get dressed in the morning because I hate how everything looks on me, or obsessively counting calories all day because I have to look a certain way.

My little girl is never going to grow up with a Mommy like that. No, she is going to learn that happiness doesn’t come from a number on the scale or the compliments of other people. It comes from being ok and loving who you are. So, today, as I leave you, I am fully acknowledging the fact that I gained 8lb. and it is ok.

What Should I Have For Lunch??

A friend of mind posted on Facebook the other day asking for healthy lunch suggestions. I too am usually wracking my brain with what to make for lunch, because I can never figure out what I want. So, this inspired me to come up with a list of healthy and easy lunch options you can take with you on the go. I’ve scoured my favorite food websites for healthy, quick, and mostly cheap lunches that will hopefully make your life much easier, and tastier.

Here it is…

Pasta, Tuna (or chicken), and Roasted Pepper Salad
Sweet Potato-Peanut Bisque
Curried Red Lentil Soup
Turkey, Corn, and Sun-Dried Tomato Wrap
Spaghetti Frittata
Couscous Salad With Chickpeas and Tomatoes
Little Italy Chicken Pitas With Sun-Dried Tomato Vinaigrette
Peanut Chicken Soba Noodle Salad

And finally, a few tips:

- When making dinner, cook a little extra to take with you the next day.
- Always have healthy staples on hand, such as fresh veggies, cut up fruit, whole-grain bread, turkey slices, light cheeses, and a variety of condiments. This way you won’t find yourself in a bind in the morning.
- Decide the night before what you’re going to make for lunch the next day, so that you don’t end up in a last-minute rush. Prep ahead if you can.
- Bring healthy snacks with you as well for the inevitable 4:00 slump.

If you have a favorite lunch, please share it with us!

Let’s Play A Game…

Ok, here’s what you’ll need:

- 1 bottle cap (unscrewed from the bottle)
- A piece of paper
- A pen
- A chair to sit in while you play the game, unless you’re the standing type, in which case forget the chair.

Now, look at the bottle cap and ask yourself, “what else could this be?” Flip the cap over, lay it on its side, and play around with it. Give yourself 5 minutes and write down all the possibilities on your sheet of paper.

No really, don’t just read on to see what I have to say about it, try it out for yourself…

Ok, time’s up. Here’s a few things I came up with…
1. A tiny hat for a tiny man.
2. A water bowl for a mouse.
3. A plug for a hole.
4. A chew toy for my dogs.
5. Something to trace in the event I needed a perfect circle.
6. A tiny ashtray for the tiny man’s tiny cigarette.

Did you come up with the same things? Did you come up with some things I didn’t even think about? Or did you not come up with anything at all?

There are countless things that this bottle cap can be that have nothing to do with closing a bottle. And that’s exactly my point. Nothing in life is every simply how it seems.

Take for example the dreaded “I feel fat” scenario we’re so good at. You can think to yourself, I’m fat, my clothes don’t look good on me, everyone else thinks I’m fat, and I’ll never be anything else. Or, you can think of all the other things you are. Maybe you’re strong, an amazing writer, a fantastic friend, a great listener, good at your job, a loving wife, sister, or daughter… The list can go on and on, but you have to make that list and begin to see the good things that you are, not the bad things.

Reframe the way you think about yourself.

Yes, this may seem so simple compared to what you’re feeling, but if you really want to change the way you think about yourself you have to start somewhere.

This all came to my on my run just now. I haven’t really run at all in 4 months. Well, aside from the time in May when I tried to run around the block and thought I would pass out from utter exhaustion before I even got to my door, and 2 weeks ago when I finally gave it another shot, today was my third day out in 4 months. It’s been too hot to run in the summer and honestly, this baby is kicking my butt when it comes to working out.

So, there I was today, in the park, starting my run (er, jog, umm, bounce…) and I was thinking about how far I would go. Being as how I haven’t done this at all in a while, I was thinking that I should exercise caution and not do the whole loop, which is 3.4 miles. I decided to run 1 1/4 miles forward and 1 1/4 miles back, for a total of 2 1/2 miles.

Now, for those of you who are rolling your eyes and saying, “at least she ran that far, I couldn’t even run a block”, you have to realize that everyone has their beginning point. There was a time I couldn’t run a whole block either and then managed to train myself to run a half-marathon. You can do that too. For me though, today was a defeat because I should be able to run 2.5 miles without a problem.

Or was it?

The first quarter of a mile was ok and it slowly started get more difficult, and by the time I got to the 3/4 mile mark I couldn’t believe how draining it was. My hips creaked and my back felt tights, but I just kept putting one foot in front of the other though, singing my ABC’s (They tell you to do that so you can you see how high your heart rate is. As long as you can sing it without taking too many big breaths you’re ok.), trudging and plodding back up the hill I so easily came down before.

What popped into my head then was how frustrating this was and how much of my ability I’ve lost. I’ve run three half-marathons and now 2 1/2 miles is enough to make me weak in the knees and need to take a nap? It’s unnerving, unsettling, and beyond frustrating. What if I can never gain back the ability I once had? What if it’s too hard, to draining, and I never pick up the motivation to do it?

But then I got a dose of reality and now I know that’s crazy. Of course I can gain it back. I did it once before and I will do it again. For right now though, I need to reframe the way I think about fitness, because if I keep focusing on the things I can’t do now I will surely lose the motivation.

Before I got pregnant it was all about staying toned and pushing myself to challenging limits, but now that I have this little growing baby inside of me I need to think about fitness in terms of being the healthiest I can be for my baby and me. It’s not about losing weight or looking great in a pair of jeans. It’s about making sure that my baby has the best start to this life that I can give her. You think that’s easy? Not really. I need to constantly remind myself about that and fight the urge to push myself further.

When I work out my baby works out, which means when I diet my baby diets. Who would ever recommend a diet for a baby in the womb? That’s just insane. On the trek back up the hill I became acutely aware of my heart rate and that it’s ok for it to feel more difficult now, because the bigger picture here is not that I’m going to look good from running, it’s that I am strengthening my baby’s heart and lungs. It’s that I am doing this to give her oxygen and life. And let’s face it, it’s pretty darn amazing that I even got out there in the first place. There aren’t many pregnant women out there running.

I came home completely beat and made sure to have a proper recovery snack (chocolate milk and a pear), again, not because I need to look good and the refueling will help, but because my baby needs it.

This photo doesn't do the way I really came home justice...

So, here’s my point: There are going to be times when you’re feeling stuck or bad about yourself. Maybe it’s today. When you’re feeling stuck and like things won’t ever change, I want you to think about that bottle cap. Think about how maybe you’re not seeing all the possibilities. Only seeing the bottle cap for closing a bottle is thinking in terms of black and white. It either is or it isn’t. Don’t forget that there is a whole realm of in-between and possibility. You just have to rethink it.

On this note, before I go, I just want to give a bigger than huge shout out to my clients Kelly and Jen Z. for being braver than they even know these past few weeks. They are what got me thinking about this post really, because they are beginning to see things for what they could be, not for what they are. You have made me so proud and honored to be your trainer and coach.

(I would love to hear your list and see what you came up with. Please share…)