I have two words for you: Swim suit.
We just got back from an amazing week in Cancun and it’s not the pool, warm weather, and sun that I’m all pumped up about (well, actually, it definitely is, but indulge me…). I’m mega excited about the fact that this was the first time I strutted around all day in my swimsuit without trying to meticulously hide my thighs. I didn’t take my towel and leave it on the edge of the pool as I usually do, so that I could wrap it around my legs as I snuck out of the pool. And I didn’t wear a cover-up into the pool, because let’s face it, cover-ups are just as good as carrying a giant sign with an arrow pointing at your ass saying, “hey guys, look here, my ass is big, and I’m embarrassed by it, but I think I’m clever by hiding it with a small piece of fabric”. And I didn’t stare at myself endlessly in the mirror before going out to the pool willing myself to think that maybe my thighs aren’t as big as I perceive them to be. No, instead I had an amazing time, because I decided once and for all, that this time I’m just not going to care.
All the other times I’ve gone away I’ve been so obsessed with what I look like compared to everyone else that I was basically saying to myself, “you’re not allowed to have a good time. Ever.” I remember going to Acapulco a few years back and thinking that every woman around the pool was stunning. I wanted to disappear into my lounger, because all the other women had better bodies than me. I also remember being in Puerto Rico last year and seeing a girl surrounded by a gaggle of guys. It didn’t matter that there was a bit of a paunch to her belly and a bit of cellulite on the back of her thighs, she was laughing and having a fantastic time. At the time, I assumed that it must mean that her body was better than mine. That must be true, right?
No. She just had better confidence. And it wasn’t until this past week that I really felt what it was like to be confident about yourself no matter what. Yeah, my thighs may jiggle a bit more than I like, and my butt isn’t perfect, but that doesn’t matter. I had an amazing time, because I wasn’t so busy trying to camouflage every move, and I just enjoyed every minute of being myself. I’m pretty awesome I realized, and so are a lot of other people sitting around the pool.
We’re always told that there’s nothing sexier than a girl with confidence, but it’s hard to really believe that when you’re sitting by the pool next to a girl who deserves to be on the cover of Maxim. I’m here to tell you though, that it is one hundred percent true, because there is nothing more repulsive than someone who can’t laugh or have good time, because they’re too busy worrying about wanting to look or be different. Seriously, even girls can’t stand to be around other girls who are always asking, “do I look fat?” There’s really no use in comparing yourself to someone else. Some people have the perfect stomach or the most amazing legs, but that’s not what makes you light up a room, and that’s not what makes you happy. You make yourself happy. So, worrying about the things you can’t change is really just a waste of time. And I promise you, I feel different now. I will never be that girl again who tries to hide anything, because it’s so not worth it. I’ve felt the power of letting all that go and there’s no turning back now.
So, get out your bikinis and strut around your house tonight singing at the top of your lungs. Just let it all go.