8 Pounds And Counting

Every time I speak to my mother-in-law the first question after she asks me how I am is “so, how much weight did you gain so far?” This isn’t your typical catty-woman question. That’s not why she is asking it. She is Ukranian, and Ukranian women are supposed to have a little bit of meat. They’re not crazy like us Americans. A little bit of meat means your healthy. Plus, if you think about it, a country where you had to stand on line for rationed toilet paper means that you most likely didn’t let a lot of things, especially food, go to waste.

So, on Friday, I was happy to report to her that I have gained a total of 8lb. so far. She was happy and I was happy, because I know I’m supposed to be gaining weight, but I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that my former devil-Dani self wasn’t nagging at me in the back of my head a little bit. That little putrid voice that tells me, however irrationally, that I can’t gain an ounce of weight ever. Even if there’s a baby inside of me. It’s just not allowed. It’s not according to the “rules”. The rules I so strictly lived my life by for so many years. And then the fear sets in…

I have to remind myself that these arbitrary rules I once put into place are no more real than an imaginary friend. I’m growing a baby – of course I need to gain weight. Of course it’s ok. Of course it’s healthy and expected. Nevertheless though, I still get that twinge of fear – what if I end up gaining way more than is healthy. What if I get out of control and start bingeing again? What if I can’t lose it after this little girl is born?

And then, that’s exactly what snaps me back to reality – those three amazing words… “this little girl”. Actually, it’s not just a little girl, it’s my little girl, and I would never want her to have this kind of voice in her head. I didn’t work so hard to overcome my eating and body image issues so that she could see me loathing myself because being pregnant with her made me gain weight. I never want her to model me constantly looking in the mirror to see where the fat settled, feeling depressed when I get dressed in the morning because I hate how everything looks on me, or obsessively counting calories all day because I have to look a certain way.

My little girl is never going to grow up with a Mommy like that. No, she is going to learn that happiness doesn’t come from a number on the scale or the compliments of other people. It comes from being ok and loving who you are. So, today, as I leave you, I am fully acknowledging the fact that I gained 8lb. and it is ok.

Let’s Play A Game…

Ok, here’s what you’ll need:

- 1 bottle cap (unscrewed from the bottle)
- A piece of paper
- A pen
- A chair to sit in while you play the game, unless you’re the standing type, in which case forget the chair.

Now, look at the bottle cap and ask yourself, “what else could this be?” Flip the cap over, lay it on its side, and play around with it. Give yourself 5 minutes and write down all the possibilities on your sheet of paper.

No really, don’t just read on to see what I have to say about it, try it out for yourself…

Ok, time’s up. Here’s a few things I came up with…
1. A tiny hat for a tiny man.
2. A water bowl for a mouse.
3. A plug for a hole.
4. A chew toy for my dogs.
5. Something to trace in the event I needed a perfect circle.
6. A tiny ashtray for the tiny man’s tiny cigarette.

Did you come up with the same things? Did you come up with some things I didn’t even think about? Or did you not come up with anything at all?

There are countless things that this bottle cap can be that have nothing to do with closing a bottle. And that’s exactly my point. Nothing in life is every simply how it seems.

Take for example the dreaded “I feel fat” scenario we’re so good at. You can think to yourself, I’m fat, my clothes don’t look good on me, everyone else thinks I’m fat, and I’ll never be anything else. Or, you can think of all the other things you are. Maybe you’re strong, an amazing writer, a fantastic friend, a great listener, good at your job, a loving wife, sister, or daughter… The list can go on and on, but you have to make that list and begin to see the good things that you are, not the bad things.

Reframe the way you think about yourself.

Yes, this may seem so simple compared to what you’re feeling, but if you really want to change the way you think about yourself you have to start somewhere.

This all came to my on my run just now. I haven’t really run at all in 4 months. Well, aside from the time in May when I tried to run around the block and thought I would pass out from utter exhaustion before I even got to my door, and 2 weeks ago when I finally gave it another shot, today was my third day out in 4 months. It’s been too hot to run in the summer and honestly, this baby is kicking my butt when it comes to working out.

So, there I was today, in the park, starting my run (er, jog, umm, bounce…) and I was thinking about how far I would go. Being as how I haven’t done this at all in a while, I was thinking that I should exercise caution and not do the whole loop, which is 3.4 miles. I decided to run 1 1/4 miles forward and 1 1/4 miles back, for a total of 2 1/2 miles.

Now, for those of you who are rolling your eyes and saying, “at least she ran that far, I couldn’t even run a block”, you have to realize that everyone has their beginning point. There was a time I couldn’t run a whole block either and then managed to train myself to run a half-marathon. You can do that too. For me though, today was a defeat because I should be able to run 2.5 miles without a problem.

Or was it?

The first quarter of a mile was ok and it slowly started get more difficult, and by the time I got to the 3/4 mile mark I couldn’t believe how draining it was. My hips creaked and my back felt tights, but I just kept putting one foot in front of the other though, singing my ABC’s (They tell you to do that so you can you see how high your heart rate is. As long as you can sing it without taking too many big breaths you’re ok.), trudging and plodding back up the hill I so easily came down before.

What popped into my head then was how frustrating this was and how much of my ability I’ve lost. I’ve run three half-marathons and now 2 1/2 miles is enough to make me weak in the knees and need to take a nap? It’s unnerving, unsettling, and beyond frustrating. What if I can never gain back the ability I once had? What if it’s too hard, to draining, and I never pick up the motivation to do it?

But then I got a dose of reality and now I know that’s crazy. Of course I can gain it back. I did it once before and I will do it again. For right now though, I need to reframe the way I think about fitness, because if I keep focusing on the things I can’t do now I will surely lose the motivation.

Before I got pregnant it was all about staying toned and pushing myself to challenging limits, but now that I have this little growing baby inside of me I need to think about fitness in terms of being the healthiest I can be for my baby and me. It’s not about losing weight or looking great in a pair of jeans. It’s about making sure that my baby has the best start to this life that I can give her. You think that’s easy? Not really. I need to constantly remind myself about that and fight the urge to push myself further.

When I work out my baby works out, which means when I diet my baby diets. Who would ever recommend a diet for a baby in the womb? That’s just insane. On the trek back up the hill I became acutely aware of my heart rate and that it’s ok for it to feel more difficult now, because the bigger picture here is not that I’m going to look good from running, it’s that I am strengthening my baby’s heart and lungs. It’s that I am doing this to give her oxygen and life. And let’s face it, it’s pretty darn amazing that I even got out there in the first place. There aren’t many pregnant women out there running.

I came home completely beat and made sure to have a proper recovery snack (chocolate milk and a pear), again, not because I need to look good and the refueling will help, but because my baby needs it.

This photo doesn't do the way I really came home justice...

So, here’s my point: There are going to be times when you’re feeling stuck or bad about yourself. Maybe it’s today. When you’re feeling stuck and like things won’t ever change, I want you to think about that bottle cap. Think about how maybe you’re not seeing all the possibilities. Only seeing the bottle cap for closing a bottle is thinking in terms of black and white. It either is or it isn’t. Don’t forget that there is a whole realm of in-between and possibility. You just have to rethink it.

On this note, before I go, I just want to give a bigger than huge shout out to my clients Kelly and Jen Z. for being braver than they even know these past few weeks. They are what got me thinking about this post really, because they are beginning to see things for what they could be, not for what they are. You have made me so proud and honored to be your trainer and coach.

(I would love to hear your list and see what you came up with. Please share…)

Cellulite Shmellulite

I have two words for you: Swim suit.

We just got back from an amazing week in Cancun and it’s not the pool, warm weather, and sun that I’m all pumped up about (well, actually, it definitely is, but indulge me…). I’m mega excited about the fact that this was the first time I strutted around all day in my swimsuit without trying to meticulously hide my thighs. I didn’t take my towel and leave it on the edge of the pool as I usually do, so that I could wrap it around my legs as I snuck out of the pool. And I didn’t wear a cover-up into the pool, because let’s face it, cover-ups are just as good as carrying a giant sign with an arrow pointing at your ass saying, “hey guys, look here, my ass is big, and I’m embarrassed by it, but I think I’m clever by hiding it with a small piece of fabric”. And I didn’t stare at myself endlessly in the mirror before going out to the pool willing myself to think that maybe my thighs aren’t as big as I perceive them to be. No, instead I had an amazing time, because I decided once and for all, that this time I’m just not going to care.

All the other times I’ve gone away I’ve been so obsessed with what I look like compared to everyone else that I was basically saying to myself, “you’re not allowed to have a good time. Ever.” I remember going to Acapulco a few years back and thinking that every woman around the pool was stunning. I wanted to disappear into my lounger, because all the other women had better bodies than me. I also remember being in Puerto Rico last year and seeing a girl surrounded by a gaggle of guys. It didn’t matter that there was a bit of a paunch to her belly and a bit of cellulite on the back of her thighs, she was laughing and having a fantastic time. At the time, I assumed that it must mean that her body was better than mine. That must be true, right?

No. She just had better confidence. And it wasn’t until this past week that I really felt what it was like to be confident about yourself no matter what. Yeah, my thighs may jiggle a bit more than I like, and my butt isn’t perfect, but that doesn’t matter. I had an amazing time, because I wasn’t so busy trying to camouflage every move, and I just enjoyed every minute of being myself. I’m pretty awesome I realized, and so are a lot of other people sitting around the pool.

We’re always told that there’s nothing sexier than a girl with confidence, but it’s hard to really believe that when you’re sitting by the pool next to a girl who deserves to be on the cover of Maxim. I’m here to tell you though, that it is one hundred percent true, because there is nothing more repulsive than someone who can’t laugh or have good time, because they’re too busy worrying about wanting to look or be different. Seriously, even girls can’t stand to be around other girls who are always asking, “do I look fat?” There’s really no use in comparing yourself to someone else. Some people have the perfect stomach or the most amazing legs, but that’s not what makes you light up a room, and that’s not what makes you happy. You make yourself happy. So, worrying about the things you can’t change is really just a waste of time. And I promise you, I feel different now. I will never be that girl again who tries to hide anything, because it’s so not worth it. I’ve felt the power of letting all that go and there’s no turning back now.

Feeling Ahhhhhmazing!

So, get out your bikinis and strut around your house tonight singing at the top of your lungs. Just let it all go.

Week 8 – 12 Weeks to a Stronger, Sexier, More Confident You

I meant to post this up yesterday, but was feeling pretty sick, so I decided to take the day off. Once you get into a routine it can be just as hard to take a break as it was forcing yourself into the routine in the first place. Believe it or not, yesterday was an act of sheer will-power for me, because I wanted to work, but I knew that had I not taken the time to take care of myself it would have only made things worse. So, my tip within a tip for you today is work hard and challenge yourself, but be honest about how you’re feeling. Listen to your body and the cues it’s sending you and take a day off once in a while if you feel you must. It’s not the end of the world and there’s always tomorrow to get back on track.

We’re 2/3rds of the way through this 12 week program and by now you should be feeling the effects of all your hard work. You probably feel stronger, lighter, and more sturdy in your shoes. I’m sure that one set of each exercise isn’t as difficult as it used to be, which is pretty awesome, which means that we’re going to be changing things up by completing this routine as a circuit 3 times. All of the work that you’ve been putting in has really paid off. I’m also sure that it’s becoming more of a routine then a tedious job, so you can see that with just a bit of effort even the toughest things become more bearable. Keep it up, because you’re only going to get stronger and more motivated.

The Workout:
Week 8

The Playlist:
- Warm-up
Love Lockdown – Kanye West (If this beat doesn’t want to make you move and sing then I’m pretty sure you don’t even have a pulse :)
Sexy Back – Justin Timberlake
Honey – Moby

- Workout
Sabotage – Beastie Boys
Song 2 – Blur
Personal Jesus – Depeche Mode
Need You Tonight – INXS
Plowed – Sponge
Running Down A Dream – Tom Petty And The Heartbreakers
Been Caught Stealing – Janes Addiction (I put this one in here for you, Valerie :)
Epic – Faith No More
Girl, You’ll Be A Woman Soon – Urge Overkill

- Cardio
Enjoy The Silence – Depeche Mode (Depeche Mode totally makes my heart hurt, but in a good way.)
Don’t Stop The Music – Rihanna
Sober – Pink
Seven Nation Army – The White Stripes
Lost at Birth – Public Enemy
Dance Sucka – T. Ray
Run – Gnarles Barkley

- Cool-Down
Radio Retaliation – Thievery Corporation
Smalltown Boy – Bronski Boy

Confidence Is What Makes Anything Possible

Happy Friday everyone! I came across this video of a man today and was practically moved to tears. It may seem a bit corny to send this out to you today, but just watch it. We’ve all been in a place at some time or another where we’ve had a dream to do something, or lacked the courage to speak to someone, or just didn’t believe in ourselves. Maybe you feel like that today and if not, you might feel that way a few days or weeks from now. Confidence is the one thing that makes anything possible and it’s what’s going to separate you from the rest of the pack. I hope this video shows you that you should always believe in your ability to conquer yourself.


12 Weeks to a Stronger, Sexier, More Confident You! – Week 1

If you want to really lose weight and keep it off then at some point or another you’re going to finally decide to take the plunge and begin working out. Now is as good a time as any to start, so what are you waiting for? Actually, I challenge you to start now and prove to yourself that you can do it. For the next 12 weeks I’m going to take you from couch potato to confident. I will be posting a new workout every Monday (I know, today is Tuesday) with a playlist to keep you invigorated and excited. These are all songs that come from my personal playlist and have helped me through the hardest of workouts and kept me going when I really didn’t want to anymore. If you’ve never worked out before or are trying to get back into things this program is for you. We’re going to progress in baby steps – every week builds on the last – so you will be able to increase your stamina and strength without feeling like it’s too difficult. We’ll start off slow, so there’s no need to be scared :) This first workout will take you less than 45 minutes.

All songs can be downloaded from iTunes by simply clicking on the links.

The first goal of this workout is to build a solid foundation of basic movements that are the underlying base for all other exercises. The second goal is to build a strong core, which consists of your abdominals, back, and lumbo-pelivic hip complex (which is just a fancy name for your lower back, pelvis and hips). You can compare it to the foundation of a building – without it, the entire building would collapse.

Do this workout 2-3 times this week, allowing at least one day in between for your muscles to recover. On days that you are not doing this workout you should be doing 30-40 minutes of cardio. Rest is as important as working out, so make sure to give yourself 2 days of complete rest.

Click on this link to see the workout. Images and instructions are included to help you through each exercise.

- Warm Up
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/m-g-jack/id287077545?i=287077716 (Alias – M.G. Jack)

- Workout
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/stronger/id263305063?i=263305080 (Kanye West – Stronger **One of my anthems when starting to train for my first 1/2 marathon)
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/lose-yourself/id1018049?i=1018037 (Eminem – Lose Yourself)
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/cowboys-aliens/id25514364?i=25514354 (Gram Rabbit – Cowboys and Aliens)

- Cardio
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/alpha-beta-gaga-mark-ronson/id23393065?i=23393054 (Air feat. Mark Ronson – Alpha Beta Gaga)
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/thats-not-my-name/id280390218?i=280390220 (The Ting Tings – That’s Not My Name)
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/lost-with-jay-z/id296910095?i=296910102 (Coldplay feat. Jay Z – Lost)
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/one-more-time/id49269321?i=49269291 (Daft Punk – One More Time **This is it – finish strong!)

- Cool Down
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/cold-wind/id70862455?i=70862395 (Arcade Fire – Cold Wind)
http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/son-of-a-preacher-man/id257837795?i=257837972 (Dusty Springfield – Son of a Preacher Man **easily one of my favorite songs of all time!)

P.S. I might have put an extra song or two in there to make sure that you have enough inspiration in case it takes you a little while longer to get through the workout ;)

** Combine this with my 12 week weight management program to maximize your results. Leave a comment if you’d like some more info.

The Only Way Out Of A Tunnel Is Through It

you might even find some amazing things along the way

“By referring to previous struggles and using them as reasons for not getting on with your life today, your assigning responsibility to the past for why you can’t be successful or happy in the present. The more you see yourself as what you’d like to become, and act as if what you want is already there, the more you’ll activate those dormant forces that will collaborate to transform your dream into reality.”

– Dr. Wayne Dyer

I’ve heard from some of my clients in the past that they are afraid to even try to lose weight, because they’ve tried before and failed. They’re afraid of judgement from their friends, because what if they try and don’t succeed, then everyone will look at them as weak, lazy, and having failed. The thing is though, you’re letting the past and everyone else dictate what you can and cannot do. And the only purpose that’s serving is to keep you where you are today, which is overweight, unhappy, and self-conscious. You’re avoiding the pain of failure and replacing it with failure to try. And so you’re still in the same place that you’ve always been and it’s getting you no where near happy.

Don’t let past failure in losing weight have so much control over you and be the reason that you don’t try. Everyone will fail at least once, if not multiple times, on their way towards success. It’s the only way you learn. I’ve “failed” so many times on my way to regaining control over food and eating and I often wanted to just forget the whole thing and not even try, but I realized that I was even more miserable without trying, so suffering the possibility of failure and judgement from others wasn’t as bad. It was the choice between taking the “easy” road of staying sick and depressed, in order to avoid all the painful feelings that would come up, or doing the work to feel comfortable in my body again. The trick for me was to look at these failures as “flops”, rather than something so finite (flop has a softer and friendlier ring to it, don’t you think?). And to come up with my Victory Vision.

I often talk about writing a Victory Vision. This is an honest and heartfelt statement that you write to yourself about the things that frustrate and piss you off about where you are today. Seriously, I want you to get mad when you write this and think about all the things that you feel helpless over and what that’s doing to you. How does it make you feel and how unhappy are you feeling that way? Do you hate how you keep saying that you’re going to stop overeating, but then don’t, or are you upset that food has such a hold over you that it’s the first thing that you run for when you’re lonely or need comforting? Are you sick of living a life of yo-yo dieting and staring at the numbers on the scale or your imperfections in the mirror? What does it feel like to put on a dress and hate the way you look in it? What’s it like going into a dressing room and not being able to find anything that you feel good in? What makes you cry? Do you want to get rid of these things and feel better about yourself and have more confidence? What are these things doing to you mentally, emotionally, and physically? Write it all down and get it out there. Then, using the present tense, as if it were true already, I want you to describe what your life is like after you’ve gotten rid of all these problems. Write about your happiness, your confidence, your strength, and anything else that reaching your goal means to you. Make it as real as possible, so that you’ll want more than anything to get there.

You’re the only one that can change your life, so stop letting the past have such a hold over you. Stop avoiding failure and pain and start tackling these problems, because the only way out of a tunnel is through it.

Does This Eyeshadow Make Me Look Fat?

Click on the picture to zoom in

This past weekend I went shopping and tried on about 12 different dresses. I’m sure we’ve all been in a situation like this at some point, where you bring 12 things into the dressing room and nothing fits, so you walk out with nothing, upset, because you think that there’s something wrong with you. Why can’t you fit into anything? This store is open, so they must be selling, and if they must be selling then there are girls out there that somehow can fit into a pencil skirt sized for a doll. And there are girls out there that actually look great in a romper or some sort of shapeless dress that’s really a mumu, but now it’s a dress, because it’s been walked down a catwalk. Normally, this would be the case for me, but this time I actually walked out with 2 dresses, one of which was something I wouldn’t normally wear, but was fun, flirty, and made feel great!

So, we had a party to go to that night and I was all excited about wearing this dress. I got all primped and preened to maximize this dresses potential. Slicked my hair back, put on some mascara, blush, and lip gloss, put on some nice long earrings, some heels, and THE dress. And then I excitedly called my husband up the stairs to come take a look at my masterpiece. To say the least, his reaction was not what I was expecting. At all.

There have been a few times that I’ve put on a dress that made him just stare with his mouth open. And granted, I know that every dress can’t be that way, because then nothing would be special, but I thought for sure that THIS dress would leave him speechless. Don’t get me wrong, he liked it, but my expectations were so high that I don’t think he could have ever matched it, unless it was something magnificent. The problem though, was that I thought it was magnificent and I wanted him to think so too, so I made the mistake of poking and prodding at him to make him give me the answer that I wanted. And when it wasn’t the stellar response that I was expecting I got sad and mad at myself for ever thinking that it looked good in the first place. I figured that I must have been wrong in thinking that it looked good. And so I ended up wearing something else (which did elicit the response I had hoped for in the last dress, by the way :) ).

Although the new dress was great, he told me something that I knew to be true, but didn’t have the courage to do. He said that if I felt good in it then it shouldn’t matter what he or anyone thought. I always tell this to my clients, but here I was faced with it right now, and it was hard for me to reconcile my feelings. So, I wore the second dress to the party, but then the next day I went out to brunch with a friend of mine plus one of her friends and we all decided to wear the outfits that we love, but feel somewhat uncomfortable in. I wore THE dress, my friend wore her romper, and her friend wore something with way many more colors than she normally allows herself to wear. And you know what, I still felt great in it. Sure, I was somewhat conscious of it, but I still loved it. And I’m totally going to wear it again this week.

Moral of the story? If you feel great in something don’t ask, “does this make me look fat”? You don’t really want to know the answer, because if the response is any less than what you expected you’ll be disappointed. Plus, you’ll most likely just call attention to things that no one would have noticed in the first place. Like when you ask your friend if they see the pimple on your forehead. Before you mentioned it they might not have noticed it at all, and even if they did they weren’t paying nearly as close attention as they are now that you pointed it out. If you feel good in something then wear it and flaunt it. Don’t ruin your mood just because someone doesn’t agree with you. It’s all about confidence, because asking that dreaded question isn’t actually about if you look fat or not, it’s about seeking approval. It doesn’t matter what other people think. Be happy and own it!

(P.S. The next time I wear the dress I’ll take a picture and post it on here, so you can see :) .)

Have a question that needs answering? Send ‘em in! Every Thursday I’ll be answering a new question, and it might just be yours!

21 Day Challenge – May 25th to June 14th

Congratulations! Yesterday was the end of your first 21 day challenge. How did it go? I give these challenges to a lot of my clients and it really helps them get to their goal in a much more manageable way. It takes away that overwhelming feeling of “where do I begin, what should i do first?” and it can really help make the whole thing way less stressful.

Speaking of goals… Do you know what yours is? For the next 21 days I want you to work on your “Victory Vision”. A Victory Vision is what you see for yourself a year from now. The idea is to make this vision as specific as possible to you. It may go something like this… “One year from now I am putting on a nice form-fitting dress, which is something I thought I would never feel comfortable in. I look in the mirror and can see how far I’ve come. It feels so great knowing that my hard work paid off and it was so worth it, because today I am going out feeling so confident, strong and sexy. I’m not upset in dressing rooms anymore, because I feel good about myself. I work out 4-5 times a week without a second thought.”

Make your Victory Vision as true to you as possible. Speak in the present as if it’s already here and be as descriptive as possible. No one else is looking at it but you, so don’t feel embarrassed about anything you write. Just be honest with yourself about what you want for your life a year from now.

For the next 21 days read this Victory Vision aloud to yourself in the morning when you wake up and at night before you go to bed. As an incentive I’m offering up a little contest giveaway! Post your vision in the “comments” box and I will choose one as the winner for a bottle of Scott Barnes’ Body Bling Shimmering Body Lotion.

It’s what he uses to give celebrities their glow on the red carpet (think J. Lo!). So get cracking!

have a little swagger

You can gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along & You must do the thing you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Anyone who has trained with me knows that I’m all about “conquering yourself”. You are your biggest critic and your worst enemy. You tell yourself, “I might fail, so why should I even start” or “I’m never going to be able to do 10 push-ups” or even “I’ll look stupid in the gym, so I’m not going to go”. You’re so sure that you’re not going to make it, but you haven’t even really tried. There’s no such thing as failure, but there is something called quitting. If you try, but fail, that’s just a hiccup on your way to learning, but if you quit before you fail, then you’ve given up and will never see your true potential.

This Tuesday I’m going to my first Toastmasters meeting. I am PETRIFIED! Seriously, I want to crawl into a little ball and hide under the bed, I’m so scared. I can just see myself getting up and giving a speech with my hands and knees shaking uncontrollably and heat running down my spine, and having that feeling that everyone knows how nervous I am. I’m doing it though, because if I don’t I know I’ll never be the motivational speaker that I want to be. I won’t be able to help millions of people like I know I need to. And I know that if I don’t try then I’ve just given up.

Challenge yourself this weekend to do something that you’ve put off out of fear. If you’ve ever done something that you were afraid of you probably had a huge rush of exhilaration after, because you got over yourself and just did it. And you probably found that it wasn’t actually as scary as you thought it was going to be. Whenever you’re faced with something that scares you, run to do it, because you’re just making yourself more fearful than you need to be and it will only get worse. This is what builds confidence and allows you to be in control of your life. It’s what makes you stronger than you ever thought you could be. So push yourself beyond your comfort zone and have a little swagger.

  • Have a question that needs answering? Send ‘em in! Every Thursday I’ll be answering a new question, and it might just be yours!